This week Newsie's uncovers why we are all guilty of sexual ableism.
This week Newsie sits down with LA Pup 2020-21 Pup Star Orion to talk about his recent interview called "You are guilty of sexual ableism." This is timely topic since July is Disability Pride Month.
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“You are guilty of sexual ableism, in my experience even the people who’ve been in love with me are.
I have been in the BDSM and leather scene for nearly six years now. At the same time that I started coming to terms that this was who I am I was also struggling to get diagnosed and the help I have always needed. As my symptoms got worse I also found myself searching for community and understanding both for my changing body and for my sexual identity.
In my intimate history I often felt when I explained my disability and symptoms it wasn’t understood. I work an active job, I go out frequently, and I don’t look like what many people feel a disabled person should look like. So they politely listen, maybe they believe me even, but they don’t understand. They don’t understand until the relationship progresses and one day they see me unable to move my body, crying for hours when no medication can soothe me, when we have to stay in again, when I need help with what yesterday I could handle fine.
It’s when this pops up that I notice the fall. Once people start having to help me, their lover, stand up, walk to the next room, shower, eat, dress myself, their attraction begins to quickly recede. Sex halts quickly. We kiss less. They look at me with sadness. The touch goes from loving and firm to cautious and sterile. I know Ive lost them. I know they’re caring for me out of love but it doesn’t feel like love to be lost behind the wall of a diagnosis.
It is then that I know the end is approaching. No amount of talking changes this in my experience. It will take one more bad day, one more can you help me with this, one more symptom they knew about but hadn’t seen firsthand before the "we make better friends talk".
The image above happened because someone looked at me and said “Look at that poor guy, I bet he has no fun here.” I was using the wheelchair because walking is a killer and has consequences for me the next day so I made the decision to do Folsom in a wheelchair. When Ferris heard that someone said that about me, they started to walk over to me, waved at me before they shouted “Can I jump on you?” So they took a running jump and landed on me and started rolling my muscles with their knees. For me it’s a therapeutic way to roll out knots and also engage in sexual energy. The person who said that, looked at us in shock. That’s a talent of mine, when I play in public I make a big impression.
A strange woman walks up to my wheelchair the moment my current fuck buddy, the one who was pushing me in my chair, walks away from me for a drink. She kneels down to meet my eye level and thanks me for coming out, says I am a “hero.” I didn’t realize being a public pervert made me a hero. I push back, say Im not doing anything, Im no hero. She insists, says I am, and that I know what she means. I unfortunately do… Especially after what that guy had said.”
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